Monday, August 29, 2011

I died today... Again....

I'm getting sick of this shit. Most cats my age are still living their first life.
And here I am, at nearly 4 years old, already on my 5th run. If my human knew about this he would be pissed.

Today started out innocent. A door left cracked open allowed my escape into the free world. Within seconds, I heard the squeal of a human transport machine (a car thingy) as it headed directly for me. When it hit me, it hurt a little, but the death was mostly painless.

Ironically, every time I die, I reappear face down in my litter box. I'm sure the kitty Gods think it's hilarious, but I find no humor in it.

If my calculations are correct, I have only 4 lives remaining. I need to be more careful.

Sometimes it's just too easy. For instance, my second death was a f**king joke. I remember it as if it were only yesterday.

I was sitting next to my litter box when I started gagging uncontrollably. It was a hairball. Not just any hairball, but a massive hairball. Apparently, the hairball was enough for the kitty Gods to declare unavoidable death. I choked and died within minutes.

When I reappeared in my litter box (face down of course, f**cking kitty Gods!) I looked up just quickly enough to catch a glimpse of my former body, right before it turned inside out and vanished.

Why did it turn inside out before it vanished? Hell if I know. Probably just another presentation of the kitty God's cruel humor. Once again, I didn't enjoy seeing it. It still gives me nightmares.

However, I'll be watching my step from now on.