Tuesday, August 23, 2011

I will not tolerate this.

A few days ago, my human questioned me about some wires that had been chewed up. I quickly blamed the dog. Rather than taking my side like most good humans should do, my evil care giver decided to make this stupid thing:
I found this picture on his computer. It explains nothing. Yet somehow it allows Bitch to speak her thoughts without even moving her mouth. I'll be honest, if he put that damn thing on me it would be a disaster. I keep my words simple for a reason. Never say too much.

As documented in yet another of my human's videos, you can hear what the bitch is thinking. I always knew she was dumb. But I never knew she was that dumb.

To make matters worse, my human forgot to take that stupid thing off of her neck before he went to bed! I can't tell you how many times I told her to "Shut Up" during the night! She continued to say "Hamburgers" and "Wheres My Ball?" for hours!

Eventually her voice got lower and lower, as if a demon was taking her over. The deeper her voice got, the more Fluff-Face (Gibby-shit) whimpered and hid in the corner. I admit, it started to sound scary.

By the time our human (Steve) woke up, the dog's voice was a dark and deep echo of "HHhhaammbuurgerrs" in low low tone. Steve then said something about her battery dying. I'm not sure what that means, but I hope it never happens again. I had nightmares all night!