Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Humans are cruel.

I nearly died this morning.

My human rambled on about his love/hate relationship with oatmeal (a subject I am extremely tired of), so I decided to clean myself as a distraction from his blabbering mouth. Apparently I need to slow down.

Within seconds, my throat began to close. I could taste my own hair (and perhaps someone else's) creeping to the back of my tongue. My stomach turned upside down as I gagged. It was a full blown hair-ball attack. I can't say I regret it too much, as it did force Steve to shut up about the oatmeal. Mission accomplished.

Adding insult to injury, not only did my human stand there watching, but he recorded it too. As the link here proves, he violated my privacy once again. Bastard.

I haven't heard any new news about Shelby's (Ahem, Bitch's) demise from the hot weather (the disease called "Heat" that causes bad animals to bleed to death). I am still waiting for them to finish her off by their means of "knocking up". If I had thumbs and a hammer, I'd knock her up myself. I would knock her all over the place.