Sunday, September 25, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
||As documented in yet another of my human's videos, you can hear what the bitch is thinking. I always knew she was dumb. But I never knew she was that dumb.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Friday, July 29, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
|So far, this is the only thing I have found. I doubt he wanted it to be seen.|
Just the way he sings along is enough to make me puke.
Such an utter dork.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
I nearly died this morning.
Adding insult to injury, not only did my human stand there watching, but he recorded it too. As the link here proves, he violated my privacy once again. Bastard.
I haven't heard any new news about Shelby's (Ahem, Bitch's) demise from the hot weather (the disease called "Heat" that causes bad animals to bleed to death). I am still waiting for them to finish her off by their means of "knocking up". If I had thumbs and a hammer, I'd knock her up myself. I would knock her all over the place.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Look at the image to the left. What do you see?
|Other than that, my human has pestered me to no end to stand in front of his video recording device. I am tired of posing for him and speaking on command. Sometimes he even makes me memorize what he calls "Scripts". No more. I will not act. I won't pretend.|
Friday, July 15, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
- 9:31 AM - I woke up.
- 10:10 - I got up from the floor.
- 10:13 - I ate some food...
- 10:19 - I pooped and peed.
- 10:22 - I took a nap.
- 11:06 - I woke up.... Again..
- 11:19 - Bitch licked me. I punched her.
- 12:58 PM - Steve stepped on my tail.
- 1:07 - I bathed myself with my tongue.
- 1:19 - I puked a little.
- 1:43 - I took a nap.
- 5:30 - I woke up.
- 5:32 - Steve gave Fluff-Face and me tuna.
- 5:44 - I took a nap.
- 7:39 - I woke up.
- 8:02 - I tried to escape.
- 8:03 - I gave up on escaping. It's too hard.
- 8:04 - I got my back claw stuck in the carpet.
- 8:05 - I got a little scared. Stuck in one place.
- 8:06 - I made my peace with the world and planned to die.
- 8:10 - Steve helped me release myself from the floor.
- 8:13 - Fluff-Face (Gibson) jumped on my back.
- 9:31 - I took a nap.
- 10:08 - I woke up.
- 10:09 - I got online to post a blog.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Thursday, June 30, 2011
My escape plan is flawless!
- Wait until the door to my food tower is opened.
- Go into the room and hide.
- Wait for the humans to close the door.
- Claw and create an opening in the Micro-Square Netting.
- Run like hell.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Perhaps I can find some baby pictures of Steve to post on my blog as payback for this. I was too young and helpless to know what he was doing back then.
I'll get my revenge. I will take his camera and record him on his white litter bowl thingy that he sits on to potty. Hehehehe!!!.....
I was right! We are SO close to his house now! I was just sitting in the lookout (the thing they calls "Wind Oh's") staring outside, dreaming of my forthcoming freedom, when I saw Todd drive down the street, right in front of my new prison. I mean, our new home.. Ugh..
Monday, June 27, 2011
Saturday, June 25, 2011
I just saw this video on my human's website (right). Gibson is a freak. I am starting to regret telling him all of the horror stories about the outside world. How is he ever supposed to help me help Todd if he won't even leave the house!?... What a pussy. That was the most childish, pathetic and ridiculous song I have ever heard. It made me want to run in traffic just to get it out of my head.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
I just realized something! When we moved back, I knew we were close to the old home. But I didn't know HOW close! We are only a block away!
Monday, June 20, 2011
|Last time was easier. This time, I couldn't get my paw into the strap. These stupid contraptions are made specifically for the monkey handed humans.|
Eventually, I'll get this recording device under control. No more "Talking Kitty" videos. I have a better idea. It's called "Hidden Camera Human".
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
|After begging my human to let me outside, I finally reached the great wide open. I was minding my own business when some other human started chasing me with a net. It was humiliating!|
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Every window is secure. Every door is locked. I feel like a prisoner. My only chance is to beg Steve to let me out of this horrible place. Hopefully he will give in to me and I can finally make my way back to Todd.
If he doesn't. I may be doomed to live in this hell forever.
Somehow, Bitch and Fluff-face seem to be getting along just fine. They don't even notice that they are in captivity.
Bitch gets released on a regular basis and returns on her own. Fluff-face is so terrified of the front door that he has never even attempted to escape.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
|There must be some kind of organization out there that can help me! I am a victim of severe animal neglect! Not only does my human refuse to let me outside or give me catnip, but he also forgets to feed me real food!|
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
I don't really know how this could be my fault, but it always is. Shelby thinks her name is bitch, and my human is angry at me about it.
So, once again I am the target in front of the camera.
Honestly, Steve should thank me. I think I made a correction.