Friday, November 26, 2010

He will not die!

How can this kitten be invincible!? I have tried nearly a hundred times to kill him and he continues to live! I have tried to fight him into the ground. He thinks I am playing, because now he attacks me from behind.

His little fluffy paws do not hurt me. His punches and kicks don't bruise me. His teeth are dull and weak. But his actions are annoying.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Trying to Kill Gibson... Not too easy...

I can't take it anymore! Now the dog is best friends with Gibson! They love each other like inbred idiots, and I'm afraid that they might try to gang up on me!

Shelby is a bitch.

I've already attempted to kill Gibson 6 times. Shelby keeps getting the way. My third attempt was nearly successful. Gibson was drinking from the toilet (disgusting) and I tried to push him in. He evaded my attack. Next time I will be more subtle.

Monday, November 15, 2010

He forgot to buy me food.

Once again, my human is making videos of me and my neglected care. I don't see the point in keeping evidence such as this, as I will use it against him eventually.

As for Gibson, I regret every trying to get him to help Todd. He won't shut up, and his mouth is going to get me in trouble if Steve catches on.

    Next plan of action:
  • 1.) Stop teaching Gibson new words so he can't get me in trouble.
  • 2.) Kill Gibson.
  • 3.) Find a new fluffy cat for Todd and trick it into helping us.
  • 4.) Move to Todd's house.
  • 5.) Live happily ever after.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

I hate my life.

Being stuck at home with Gibson and Shelby is torture. I have GOT to get this little furball to come to Todd's with me so he will cheer up. I can't stay here much longer.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Playing dead

The funniest damn thing happened today! I was bored as hell, just laying on the floor with my paws up a little. Steve (My human) looked at me funny... He took this picture of me..

Then he came over and checked to see if I was breathing, so I held my breath. He started to cry a little bit, I tried not to laugh!

Next thing I know, he is stuffing me in a little box. I didn't want to go in, so I tightened all of my muscles as stiff as I could.

He turned my legs and pushed me in. It hurt a little, but I didn't want to ruin the joke.

I think I waited a little too long before jumping up to surprise him, because I got buried in the dirt. I clawed and clawed my way out of the box and it took a while to dig my way back to the top.

I waited until the giant light bulb in the sky went away, and then snuck back inside. Steve was sitting on a chair and I jumped on his lap. The look on his face was priceless!

Stupid human.