Tuesday, August 23, 2011

I will not tolerate this.




A few days ago, my human questioned me about some wires that had been chewed up. I quickly blamed the dog. Rather than taking my side like most good humans should do, my evil care giver decided to make this stupid thing:
I found this picture on his computer. It explains nothing. Yet somehow it allows Bitch to speak her thoughts without even moving her mouth. I'll be honest, if he put that damn thing on me it would be a disaster. I keep my words simple for a reason. Never say too much.



As documented in yet another of my human's videos, you can hear what the bitch is thinking. I always knew she was dumb. But I never knew she was that dumb.

To make matters worse, my human forgot to take that stupid thing off of her neck before he went to bed! I can't tell you how many times I told her to "Shut Up" during the night! She continued to say "Hamburgers" and "Wheres My Ball?" for hours!

Eventually her voice got lower and lower, as if a demon was taking her over. The deeper her voice got, the more Fluff-Face (Gibby-shit) whimpered and hid in the corner. I admit, it started to sound scary.

By the time our human (Steve) woke up, the dog's voice was a dark and deep echo of "HHhhaammbuurgerrs" in low low tone. Steve then said something about her battery dying. I'm not sure what that means, but I hope it never happens again. I had nightmares all night!

28 comments:

  1. ya. Alan was right...she sounded like the Blackeyed Peas.....

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  2. rotflmbo! Love YOU Sylvester!!

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  3. wha???? Fluff-face is now Gibby-shit??? What am i going to do with that Sylvester little B*astard~~~~

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  4. hahahaha too funny!!

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  5. love sylvester can't wait for the next one.

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  6. awe.. poor kitties !!!

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  7. I luv you MR Sylvester!! You Just Rock!!!

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  8. Sylvester, can you please teach my cats to talk too so I'd even remotely understand what it is you feline demons actually want?

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  9. Unfortunately Steve doesn't realize, Shelby can talk, she just doesn't have much to say because little bad ass Sylvester is always running off at the mouth.

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  10. Wow You we're Right Bitch is Stupid and saying "Hamburgers" and "Wheres My Ball?" for hours make Bitch 3x Stupider am I right? and You were proply happy when Pussy(Gibson) was missing ,and did you get grounded for chewing the wires and blaming it on Bitch ?-TheGoombaking1

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  11. nightmares? HIDE the talking collar!
    awww Sylvester kitty! ..

    Wet food and catnip will cure ya!

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  12. Sorry you and Gibby-Shit were scared. Hopefully Steve realize you are the boss of the house and take that thing off Bitch so your nightmares will end. If he doesn't...then you have no choice but to make the talking mechanism have the same fate as the wires. LOL!

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  13. you slyvester gets into so much trouble but you are sill loved anways i will be sending you a package soon

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  14. HAMBUUUURGEEEERZZZ

    *inputs new battery*

    Hamburgers hamburgers hamburgers hamburgers hamburgers!!!

    That'll teach that little kitty cat a lesson :D

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  15. I can only imagine what kind of nightmares Gibson will have now poor thing.

    We need another glimpse into his neurotic little soul.

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  16. Hey Sylvester if you're ever in Canada you can come stay with me! I will let you have all the catnip you want. :)

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  17. u sure that wouldn't make him sick?

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  18. I LIKE HAMBURGERS!!! Funny shelby!

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  19. is this just me or can no one else see the other picture posted? the one below sylvester giving me the snide face.

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  20. Oh, I am going to have nightmares about a demon dog that worships hamburgers, now! Thanks, Sylvester! :P

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  21. I want one of those voice collar translator thingies so I can hear what MY dog is saying.

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  22. And poor sylvester (IM THE SAME PERSON WHO SAID POOR SHELBY)

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  23. I'm the same way... I never say too much...

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  24. This cat has what he says he is cool
    Rock on cat ps my cat he's names is attaicus he looks and acts just like you no wonder lol your fucking Awsome sylvester cat :)

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    Replies
    1. Oh my email is Right here

      jovana_delossantos@yahoo.com

      Oh please add my email ok I'll send you a pic of Atticus my black cat

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  25. interesting stuff, this is just too much amazing Lost and found

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