Humans are cruel.

I nearly died this morning.

My human rambled on about his love/hate relationship with oatmeal (a subject I am extremely tired of), so I decided to clean myself as a distraction from his blabbering mouth. Apparently I need to slow down.

Within seconds, my throat began to close. I could taste my own hair (and perhaps someone else's) creeping to the back of my tongue. My stomach turned upside down as I gagged. It was a full blown hair-ball attack. I can't say I regret it too much, as it did force Steve to shut up about the oatmeal. Mission accomplished.

Adding insult to injury, not only did my human stand there watching, but he recorded it too. As the link here proves, he violated my privacy once again. Bastard.

I haven't heard any new news about Shelby's (Ahem, Bitch's) demise from the hot weather (the disease called "Heat" that causes bad animals to bleed to death). I am still waiting for them to finish her off by their means of "knocking up". If I had thumbs and a hammer, I'd knock her up myself. I would knock her all over the place.

Bitch is dying. It's about time.

Look at the image to the left. What do you see?

I see a beast capable of devouring enormous amounts of wet kitty food within an instant, without even a drop of surface gravy meeting a taste bud. She is a disposal. A disgrace. And finally, she is dying.

The first symptom of her death was noticed by my room mate kitty, who I call 'Fluff-face'. Otherwise known to the humans as "Gibson". He pointed toward Bitch's back half and muttered, "Help". Then, I saw the blood dripping out of her.

From between her hind legs, just below her tail and pooper, she has been slowly bleeding to death. It's only a matter of time before she passes out and disappears forever.

I've already planned the party. It will be a joyous occasion.

My human (Steve) has attempted to stop the bleed-out by fitting

her to some sort of diaper/bandage that wraps around her ass. A fitted hole for her tail is perfectly placed. However, the ass-bandage has not slowed her painful death. She continues to bleed. Dying. Slowly.

I overheard the humans say that her deadly sickness was due to "Heat". I did not know that dogs could bleed to death from something as harmless as warm weather.

I thank this summer for it's hot days and their splendid surprise!

Furthermore, the humans spoke to each other saying that if her bleeding continued, they would have her knocked up. I don't know for sure what this means, but it sounds painful. Surely, it means to induce death by knocking her with something in an upward motion. I cannot wait.

Other than that, my human has pestered me to no end to stand in front of his video recording device. I am tired of posing for him and speaking on command. Sometimes he even makes me memorize what he calls "Scripts". No more. I will not act. I won't pretend.

Another damn video.

I thought I was doing them a favor. Getting rid of the dog would have made everyone happy. No more wet face licks, no more jingling dog tags.... Instead, I get in trouble for it. Some humans are impossible to please.

A bad bad day...

I had one of the worst days ever.

First, I woke up early and tried to get some noms from my bowl, but it was empty. Then, I noticed an open door that is usually closed. I walked inside. Some how, I fell asleep.

I suppose one of the humans closed the door as I slept, because I spent 10 hours locked away! The room was tiny and dark. I've over heard the humans call it a "Klauz It", but I don't know what that means.

Although my keepers said that my day of solitary confinement was "an accident", I firmly believe that it was punishment. Are they still mad at me for putting the dog on craigslist?

Hating it...

Imagine if you flushed your human litter box (toilet thingy) only once every two days. Well, that's what my human (Steve) just left for me. He's forgotten to clean our pooping square (litter box) for two days in a row now.

I can barely walk into it, yet alone relieve myself. To make things worse, Fluff-Face (Gibson) has the Hershey squirts.

I've already stepped into it once, and I wiped it off on Bitch's face. She licked her nose and never noticed the foul slime. I enjoyed watching her. Disgusting beast.

However, if my pooping square is not refreshed within the next day, I will reserve the entire home as "Free To Release" zones. Just a small warning.

Today... Just another day as a kitty...

• 9:31 AM - I woke up.
  
• 10:10 - I got up from the floor.
  
• 10:13 - I ate some food...
  
• 10:19 - I pooped and peed.
  
• 10:22 - I took a nap.
  
• 11:06 - I woke up.... Again..
  
• 11:19 - Bitch licked me. I punched her.

• 12:58 PM - Steve stepped on my tail.
  
• 1:07 - I bathed myself with my tongue.
  
• 1:19 - I puked a little.
  
• 1:43 - I took a nap.
  
• 5:30 - I woke up.
  
• 5:32 - Steve gave Fluff-Face and me tuna.
  
• 5:44 - I took a nap.
  
• 7:39 - I woke up.
  
• 8:02 - I tried to escape.
  
• 8:03 - I gave up on escaping. It's too hard.
  
• 8:04 - I got my back claw stuck in the carpet.
  
• 8:05 - I got a little scared. Stuck in one place.
  
• 8:06 - I made my peace with the world and planned to die.
  
• 8:10 - Steve helped me release myself from the floor.
  
• 8:13 - Fluff-Face (Gibson) jumped on my back.
  
• 9:31 - I took a nap.
  
• 10:08 - I woke up.
  
• 10:09 - I got online to post a blog.
  

All in all it's been a good day!

We Survived The Attacks.

I was surprised when I woke up this morning.

After last nights deadly bombings that seemed to last forever, I assumed the world would be vacant. I didn't expect to wake up.

When I peeked outside, the only evidence of the war was large black ash on the streets and sidewalk. A slight smokey haze fills the air, but the humans outside seem to have continued on as if nothing ever happened. I will never understand these careless humans.

Steve, my human, seems to have been documenting our relocation in a video that he posted online called "Talking Kitty Something Something".

As seen in the footage, Todd has been attempting to rescue me. Steve has been evading him so far, making strange efforts to keep Gibson and I locked away as if Todd were some sort of threat.