Monday, August 29, 2011

I died today... Again....

I'm getting sick of this shit. Most cats my age are still living their first life.
And here I am, at nearly 4 years old, already on my 5th run. If my human knew about this he would be pissed.

Today started out innocent. A door left cracked open allowed my escape into the free world. Within seconds, I heard the squeal of a human transport machine (a car thingy) as it headed directly for me. When it hit me, it hurt a little, but the death was mostly painless.

Ironically, every time I die, I reappear face down in my litter box. I'm sure the kitty Gods think it's hilarious, but I find no humor in it.

If my calculations are correct, I have only 4 lives remaining. I need to be more careful.



Sometimes it's just too easy. For instance, my second death was a f**king joke. I remember it as if it were only yesterday.

I was sitting next to my litter box when I started gagging uncontrollably. It was a hairball. Not just any hairball, but a massive hairball. Apparently, the hairball was enough for the kitty Gods to declare unavoidable death. I choked and died within minutes.


When I reappeared in my litter box (face down of course, f**cking kitty Gods!) I looked up just quickly enough to catch a glimpse of my former body, right before it turned inside out and vanished.

Why did it turn inside out before it vanished? Hell if I know. Probably just another presentation of the kitty God's cruel humor. Once again, I didn't enjoy seeing it. It still gives me nightmares.

However, I'll be watching my step from now on.





53 comments:

  1. I sure hope that you will, little buddy!!! We all love ya! Take care of yourself!! ;-)

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  2. 4 years old and on your 5th life? Better start pacing yourself. Some cats live as long as 23! That being said, perhaps you should start paying more attention to your Bastet worship, may help with the Kitty Gods, ask Steve to get you a Bast statue.

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  3. Sylvester, jeez, you are scaring the CRAP out of me! Stop trying to escape. Steeve is really looking out for your best interests despite what you might think. If you die, your whole enterprise will be gone and thousands of people and Steve and your meowmie will be very sad!!

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    1. i hope sylvester dies soon good god

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    2. Nooooooo!!!!!! How cld u say that?!!

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    3. You idiot what Sylvester die I think you are HEARTLESS CREATURE HOW DATE YOU

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    4. Giraffes are more heartless than him... Seriously... Giraffes are evil.

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  4. Please be careful Sweetie! LOTS of us LOVE YOU1 (the Bastet statue is a good idea) <3

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  5. Sylvester what are you trying to do!? Maybe Steve should get you a harness and lead & you both can go out for a bit and be safe. (kitties shouldn't be left unattended though smart ones find a way to get out of the harness)

    Once you get that Bast statue remember to leave catnip as an offering for it. ;)

    (Bast, Egyptian Cat Goddess & my personal fav)

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  6. you are not stealing my storyline little kitteh........as soon as i savegibson, it's on~~~!!! you go on vacation while i plot and scheme.kthnxbai

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  7. Be nice Donna. You know that Sylvester still outranks you. :) But do be more careful Sly. Ceiling Cat seems to have it out for you.

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  8. If you die no more wetfood and talking kitty videos because Everyone on youtube will have to go to Idaho for your funeral-TheGoombaking1

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  9. Slyverster please, please stay inside. Your post just made me cry.

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  10. Please be careful. I agree with Sandiego 1030. It made me cry. Stay inside. Outside cats don't have a long life expectancy. Your fans would be so lost without you. And Steve, try and be more careful. You know how Sylvester is.

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  11. Oh Sylvester...I would not worry...I had a cat and she was a black cat just like you...and she would get into everything...and she lived until she was 14 years old..Sylinda

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  12. Sylvester - time to think about karma and being nicer to Steve, Gibson and Shelby.... and staying inside!

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  13. It's me, Shimmy Boy, your pal from FB, trying to be 'Anonymous' as a jet black cat can be. And I'm 14 years old and as obnoxious as ever. So, I'm told. Still, don't be too cavalier with those lives, Dude. Pleeease? They go quickly even when you try to be careful. It kind of gives me the creeps seeing your gravestone. Don't forget, you have to get Gibby back from Todd. That endeavor might use up a few. Buena Suerte, Dude y Vaya con Dios, mi amigo!

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  14. Awww honey be careful...your twin peanut would miss you & your videos. He dosent talk but has your attitude. Take care baby!!!!!!

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  15. Is that photo your mug shot from when you got arrested? It looks like the kind of pictures they show of the "alleged" criminals on the news.

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  16. Sylvester :( Hope you are okay little guy ... I had a cat many years ago who got hit by a car he survived but it is scary for us Humans to watch you guys get hit like that. Be careful now :) xxx

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  17. T_T I also cried a bit. I have a Bastet statue, which I would send you in a heartbeat, but I don't know where u live xD. But I think it would be a good idea to find one; that would be really funny to find you praying by surprised on camera ^w^. But do BE CAREFULL!!! I don't have enough money to go to ur funeral TT_TT

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  18. @Donna Larue why do have this feeling of entitlement? Like this series belongs to you in some special way? Like it belongs to no one else? You act like you're somehow in charge. It turns people off. Can't you turn it down a notch? Or do you really feel so special and privileged?

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  19. please be careful Sylvester... i don't think i could survive losing another friend

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  20. Hey, Sylvester -- Your captor, Steve, has posted a video about how he abandoned you and went on vacation and met other kitties. In the video, HE EVEN PETTED THEM. Where did he imprison you while he was off having fun?

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  21. Sylvester try to fake your death again, then when hes not looking climb out and DASH
    -Momo

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  22. Knightness my solid black baby passed away tonight 10-10-2011 at 8:54pm est - she always enjoyed new slyvester videos (I think she had a huge crush on him)
    <^..^>

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  23. Knightness, you probably won't get this message, but I wanted to say that I am very sorry for your loss. It's a hard thing to endure, but you'll make it through.

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  24. Dinah, thank you <^..^>

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  25. Rest in peas, bastard.

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  26. NO SYLVESTER DON'T DIE! Please. Don't do this. It would be the end of Talking Kitty! :(

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  27. sylvester needs to quit calling the dog a b****

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  28. no wonder you are face down in the litter box because you have a potty mouth

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  29. I luv Sylvester cuz he iz cute and funny as HELL

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  30. the catnip offering thing cld work kitty :p plus what they dnt use u get 2 keep ha ha

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  31. iam criig waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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  32. Wow your life sound's really rough/awesome

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  33. As a cat myself, I know that stuff sucks like hell.

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  34. to: syvester (hope i spelled your name right)

    true of false cats have nine lives???

    P.S make more vids of you and gibson cuz i love you guys im your biggest fan in the world i have a cat and its a female bye

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  35. I'm glad that wasn't your LAST life!!!

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  36. Poor Sylvester i love u I am 1 of ur biggest fans

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  37. Sylvester heres advice to stay alive:
    do not lick too fast, you dont wanna choke on a hairball again
    Look both ways before crossing a street ( the black path)
    Never pick a fight with racoons
    Always eat before you go outside
    If you are bitten by a wild animal, get help IMMIDIATELY
    Never go near something that you dont know what it is
    Be careful in unknown territory
    Look before you step
    Dont go near other peoples dogs or cats
    Make sure you can climb down before you climb up
    NEVER eat food unless you know where it came from
    stay away from people with guns
    NEVER eat a whole bag of catnip at once right before you run away
    I hope you do this. You have thousands of pplz that love you.

    -epickitty25

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  38. Sylvester, my cat is being so mean to me.I pet him but he never purrs anymore.I try to sit on his favorite chair, which works for my friends, but he still seems to hate me. He is totally neglecting me. I'm the one who decided to adopt him. I'm the one who raised his siblings until they got homes. Why is he doing this? I was hoping as a cat yourself you may know. Please reply.

    -epickitty25

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  39. oh and Sylvester your awesome I even made you a Noms offering website tell me where to send em and you get em

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  40. Link:http://nomsforsylvester.blogspot.com/

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  41. perfectly filled with wet food and cat nip in every bag

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  42. Becarefull mate outside is dangerous

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  43. Oh man I feel sa when read the header

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  44. Sudi &amp;Q.T. Zanesville OhioDecember 17, 2014 at 9:32 AM

    Sylvester you are one of Funniest little degenerates I have ever had the pleasure of watching! Your line about the dog catching parvo cracked me up! Q.T. The cat on the other hand, didn't give a FAWWWWWK If you live or die but I have a feeling she would actually care.... Thanks Steve you're brilliant.

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  45. i really appreciate your working capacity, you have great courage to do a great work. Lost and found

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  46. I hate those fucking kitty gods sylvester i hope you live long enough to kill who ever you want.

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  47. I hate those fucking kitty gods sylvester i hope you live long enough to kill who ever you want.

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